ink_splotch

My holiday so far has been imminently productive! However, Stephen Fry has a podcast, I've watched five episodes of Mock the Week (I kind of ridiculously heart Frankie Boyle and Hugh Dennis), two episodes of In Treatment (so good, and Gabriel Byrne!) and I managed to set off the fire alarm with my cooking.

Also, I'm shamefully addicted to Classic FM, and am having a weird fangirly period with modern classical music. For example, today I heard a symphony version of 'Who Wants to Live Forever', with new music and overarching themes, and was very charmed. Beyond that, they play 'Summertime' and Grieg's 'Wedding Day at Troldhaugen' approximately once a day, and this makes me happy.

One day, I will actually achieve something.

(Also, I now have pills to modulate my dizziness. YAY!)

My real-life is something of a muddle. My father was in Leicester, Monday to Tuesday, and it was so nice to see him again, but now I miss him terribly, and I'm not going home until July; I was sent home from work yesterday after I had a minor collapse due to cramps, which did not exactly heighten my opinion of the day in general; and a couple of my housemates are in a mood with the rest of us, due to discussions of rooming arrangements next year. Not exactly the best start ever to a week, if I'm honest.

Apart from that, I have my last Critical Theory seminar on Friday, which means it'll be the last time I see my seminar tutor. Which makes me quite sad, since he's absolutely amazing (and so is CT, which is another reason for sadness.)

On the other hand, I have finished my Satire and Sense essay, and only need to edit (and possibly create a conclusion for) my Critical Theory essay, which is a very good thing; Gemma's been taking care of me, which has been, well, wonderful (I'm...kind of bad at dealing with people taking care of me - I feel obliged to help. However, Gemma got rather strict with me, so. Yes.); I'm beginning to think I may just be able to scrape by my exams. Also I've been reading Stephen Jay Gould's Life's Grandeur, which is amazing and beautiful and kind of makes me wish I were more of a scientist. Or smart enough to be able to use his theories in some way for my academic work (which remind me, I really, really need to start thinking seriously about my dissertation. And possibly considering re-reading Anansi Boys.)

***

Quite apart from everything else, I've got a craving for World Without End fic. Which disappointingly still doesn't exist. The book's been out for six months, people!( Spoilers! )

Speaking of things related to the fandom life: Beat It. I love Patrick. Like, a lot. (His voice, you guys!)

Also, DADT, Damyata, Dayadhvam messed with me. I can't believe how short it is for something that packs such a powerful punch. It's an SG:A alternate universe, where Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell isn't just a law - it's a chip, implanted into everyone affiliated with the US military. It gets to me on a number of levels and some of them make me a little uncomfortable, but I recommend it whole-heartedly. It is amazing.

Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street are legends. I can't even beign to explain how awesome - almost in the original sense of the word - yesterday's concert was. There's just something about the energy, like you haven't lived until you've shouted tramps like us at the top of your lungs and still been unable to distinguish your voice from the rest of the crowd. Just, the entire atmosphere of the place was amazing. Particularly during Radio Nowhere, Badlands, Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out (LOVE!), >The Promised Land (seriously, amazing.) and Born to Run. I got shivers during the River though - it was beautiful, so beautiful, and the crowd response - quietly, quietly singing along and swaying. The same for Magic where the chanting of 'This is what will be' sounded almost religious as the crowd took up the murmur. And Bruce's face, light up against the dark stage in both those songs was amazing - he just *looks* like the music. It's hard to explain, but it's incredible.

And speaking of religious, the opening of Livin' in the Future (which is an amazing number anyway, and my favourite off the new album), where Bruce listed all that he saw as wrong with America had the crowd yelling in agreement - I swear, I heard more than one Amen among the crowd, it was electric. I think we would've bought anything he told us. Same goes for American Land, the finalé which is basically an anthem of immigrants and a codemnation of US treatment of immigrants.

Also, Bruce Springsteen speaking Danish is ridiculously adorable.

And, finally, as their second number, they played No Surrender and Steven kissed Bruce. I. Err. That was pretty awesome, too.

♥

( The Set-List )

Dear Self,
One end does not necessarily indicated another. Please stop panicking about your relationship, as it could hardly *be* better under current circumstances.
Thank you kindly,
Your Self.

In other news, house! Very exciting, particularly now I've got my furniture sorted - a chest of drawers, a bookcase and a bedside table will be delivered to my house on Thursday. Granted, between 7.00 am and 1.00pm (WTF? I will not be up at 7.00, but they have my number and can call me, I guess), and flat-packed, so some assembley required, but still! Very exciting! Slightly less exciting is the fact that I won't have internet until the 18th. How am I to survive, I ask you? Particularly since university computers are ridiculously slow.

However, the woe that that might cause is negated by the fact that a) I might have a job at either Waterstones or the Disney Store and b) the two main roads near me have, at last count, seven used bookstores between them. And a library. Ahahahahaha, oh god, I am going to be so poor. I did managed to get all my Renaissance lit books for under 10 pounds, though, rather than spending 35 pounds on them, so in the end? I kind of win. A lot.

Also, dinner at Ros's tonight and then Gemma comes up for three days tomorrow. ♥! I am happy with life, I tell you.

(Other things I'm happy about, by the way: Radio Nowhere. Bruce Springsteen + The E-Street Band > everything)

Today I listened to live jazz. This was an amazing experience, not because the music was good (even though it was, it was very nice), but because it was completely out-of-the-blue. Gemma and I were rambling around the countryside (it is absolutely beautiful if you go a little east of university accomadation - all rolling fields of English countryside with quaint little churches and quite lovely houses) when we came upon a farmhouse pub. With jazz music. And really nice, cheap food, and homemade cider (mmm, cider) and did I mention the jazz music? I so rarely have truly out-of-the-blue experiences, so this was quite...extraordinary, I guess.

Last night Gemma and I had a serious conversation - our first serious relationship conversation. It went surprisingly well; we're both very non-confrontational, so having the conversation was a good step, I felt, and afterwards we were able to joke around and today feels *better* somehow - like we're stronger - so that's one worry off my shoulder. I'm still shocked at how easy all this with Gemma is - and how I'm not tired of her yet, or at least of being with her all the time. I usually don't deal well with constant companionship, but as long as I have an hour or two to myself once a day, I love it.

Tomorrow is the last exam for the physicists, so I'm out to dinner, which is worrying me more than it should - it's just that I'm finally going to meet all my housemates next year, and talk with them and I am sort of worried I won't get along with them. I don't need to be BFF with them, I just want them to like me, and I want to like them. I adore Cathrine, of course, and Tamsyn, Tom and Roisin are all awesome, so really there are only three people I'm worried about. I can handle that.

Finally, as my icons probably indicate, Doctor Who is taking up a lot of my fannish mentality, except instead of wanting fic, I'm craving meta and analysis and criticism and I'm blaming all this on the lack of university in my life right now.

Clearly I was accidentally POSESSED BY SOMETHING, or my mind seems to believe I'll be more inclined to revise with shiny new music to listen to. Or I just can't deal with the instant gratification of buying stuff on iTunes. No matter what, I just bought five cds.

I feel so ashamed. But, on the bright side, Mark Owen is a surprisingly good musician. Or maybe it's just that his voice is so lovely I don't actually care what he's singing.

Uhm. That might not be a good thing.

ANYWAY. Also, I feel the need to point out that Alphabeat are awesome and lovely and summery, and thus buying that CD is totally justifiable. And iTunes is like, crazy cheap. Which is why I keep going back to Apple, like the glutton for punishment I am.

I am blaming all this on hormones. And Gemma leaving. Thank god for seeing Sofie tomorrow, or I'd probably go a little around the bend.

Though I totally need to do a SummerMix or something. There's just so much happy-making summer music out right now, like Mika's Grace Kelly, or the afformentioned Alphabeats. Ee! Uhm, though, of course, I'll be doing revision mostly. No, really. I still need to read about 80 pages og history and re-read The Tempest, Titus Andronicus and Antony and Cleopatra. Which reminds me: poisoninjest has a celebratory Shakespeare post up with assorted quotes. You should go read!

----

In slightly saner news: Fanmark: The Hallmark of Fandom. Literally *made* from awesome. I'm particularly fond of So Long, and Thanks for all the Fic and A Bundle Of Joy: So You've Got A New Fandom. Oh fandom. Don't ever change. *hugs like mad*

Oh. My. God. Billy Joel has a new single out. And it's gorgeous.

I. Uh. Something's got to give. No one gets this damn lucky, right?

Well, I was in a good mood right up until I failed to fall asleep last night. And today's just gone from reasonably mundane to bad in a slow, gentle swerve.

In short, I am not down with life. I've been seesawing up and down emotionally since I got back to university, but my mind seems to have made a decision to stay on the negative curve today. Glorious. I hate Mondays.

My iPod is broken - it won't turn off, not even if I pause it and leave it, so I either need to get it to a repair shop (of which there are five in the entire United freakin' Kingdom) or restore to factory settings - definitely something I want to do. This is my shortest lived iPod yet, which is vaguely fucking impressive, considering the last one lasted four months. Seriously, what is with me and the damn things?

Then my seminar today...ugh. I'm so, so tired of having these stupid seminars where getting a discussion going is like pulling nails. Our teacher'll ask for an opinion, and everyone will sit and stare at their hands; I'll answer, or the teacher will ask someone for an answer, and then we start over. God. What are these people doing at university? They don't want to have an opinion, or speak in public, or write essays, or read these "boring" plays. Oh, and opposing another student's opinion? Terrible form. We're all just supposed to agree with each other, even though some of the opinions ventured have no logic to back them up and have nothing to do with the play, and I'm sick of it. Participate, dammit! We've yet to get through an entire play, just because people won't fucking talk. Ugh.

On the bright side, I've got Disney songs. This makes me happy. It also makes me want to write an essay about "growing up Disney", an analysis of the growing up that happens in the Disney Renaissance films, how growth is symbolized, etc. Disney, the outsider and the engagement situation. That sort of thing. And speaking of the Renaissance films, has anyone else noticed how radically different The Lion King is from the other films of the period? It's actually rather weird.

Also, apparently tonight I'm playing rugby. Which should be interesting. Until then, my headache and I are going to bed.

New computer! Hopefully it will at some point allow me to install iTunes and then it'll be perfect. Well. Almost. I also need to install my Gmail detector and MSN messenger and then I need some way of transferring files, but no big problem; I have a new computer!

I've named it Eleanor Rigby. I blame my dad. And possibly the Beatles. I've been listening to the Love album almost non-stop since yesterday and it's starting to inflitrate my brain. Dammit. Seven years of thinking the Beatles are overrated, and now I get converted? Not cool. (Though, seriously, I blame it all on George Harrison. I defy anyone to listen to Here Comes the Sun and not fall in love).

Speaking of not cool, came out to my uncle at yesterdays Christmas gathering. He had apparently missed the family clue bus, which had visited everyone else. It was slightly amusing to see his face though, and hear him stutter his apology for not noticing earlier.

And the dinner itself was very neat as well. My cousin and I are meeting up sometime next year in London, which should be quite cool.

I'm going to go off to try and get iTunes to work now. Not that it's likely.

ETA: Succes! iTunes and The Beatles copying in. Yeah!

It would seem that I've been corrupted - or rather, it would seem that I have finally banished my obstinate 15-year-old self. I confess: I adore Jane Eyre and am hard pressed to put it down again. I started it last night after finishing Turn of the Screw - with which I was rather unimpressed, I'm saddened to admit; it worked on some levels as a ghost story, but felt rather...incomplete, perhaps? Though demon children are never amiss in a novel, to be sure - and, returning to the subject of Jane Eyre, I've been unable to stop thinking about it. How could I hate it? I recall thinking Jane sanctimonious and dull; why didn't I see that, far from that, she's complex and interesting and basically strong and good in an odd, but deep way. Jane is a deeply sympathetic character to me now; and the romance! How well buildt up it is! It seems obvious - Rochester always just on the brink of admitting his feelings, but holding back. I can't believe I thought the book dispassionate before - was I unable to read English? What kind of idiot was I when I was 15 (one wonders, one truly does, how I managed to ensnare Freya at the time).

This is not to say that the book is without fault. It's not; some of the passages are distinctly clumsy; and one cannot help but think about poor Bertha, but still. So romantic! So well-written (I swear, the langauge has me as ensnared as Jane herself)! I can't help feeling though, that I shouldn't find it as romantic as I do - it feels a bit too much like giving in - but I can't help it. It catches you and keeps you there, for the very first meeting on the moor, right up to when they confess their feelings. And yes, it's dramatic and perhaps overdone, but it just *waves hand incoherently* all the right spots. All the right spots.

(By the by, I am typing this while Jane and Rochester are still happy in their ignorance of Mason's return to England - I'm almost loathe to pick up and start reading again - I want Jane to be happy! But I know I must, because the ending - oh, the ending! also, the matter of having a seminar on the subject on Thursday. But mostly because of the ending)

***

Forgive the inelegant segue, but I wanted to post these while the internet is inclined to cooperate, so here we go.

It is sad to note that I can go into sex shops with narry a blush; I can request NC-17 movies without averting my eyes; I can discuss fic and kinks with Sofie in public without much embaressment and yet, when I have to venture into an HMV to buy a Michael Ball CD, I'm half tempted to pay someone to do it for me. But he's cheesy. And he was in Eurovision, dammit. And I shouldn't even like him as Marius, because he's oddly pompous, but he's also sweet and dorky and he blushes when Grantaire flirts with him and I own my shame, okay?

It helps that his version of Tell Me on a Sunday makes me wonderfully pensive and his version of Show Me never ceases to be hilarious (this is possibly mostly because I imagine him doing all of Audrey Hepburn's movements at the same time, and that's just funny). But I also kind of like those two (and Losing My Mind, which is totally the reason I bought the CD in the first place) because they're female songs. Or, rather, they're meant to be sung by women in their respective musicals and somehow them being sung by a man seems - well, not subversive, but pleasing, on some level. Hah! Not only women pine for calm and peaceful break-ups. Or something; I don't know exactly why, but it just pleases me. And now I shall stop babbling and present you with:

( Music! )

And now I'll return to Jane. Or possibly bed.

1 I know it's not fact, but the thought makes me happy! Leave me alone!