ink_splotch

So, I'm kind of madly happy. I'm not entirely sure why, either, particularly because I've had moments of extreme malaise and worry about exams and my future during today, but it sort of passed during Medieval Lit (though I still say a lecture at 5 till 6 is unreasonably late), stuck between Becca and Phil and making stupid comments and jokes about religion (University: if you can't make fun of it, it ain't worth studying). Which is awesome, since it means that now I'm here, sleepy and quite content. Mmmmm. Even though I am vaguely missing Gemma, who's gone home for two days. It's not too bad, though, sort of a comfortable ache.

I mean, I'm still worried about my grades (which I don't get until next week and, I just - I've never felt so badly after an exam, and it's not really a comfortable feeling) and my thesis (because it's soon, really soon now, and I'm still not entirely sure what I want to write about: Fairytales and the Creation of Identity in The Book of Lost Things, The Function of the Fictional in The Book of the Duchess or something completely different, maybe to do with gender. And it's the fact that I don't feel like there's anyone in the faculty I could really go to to get help with this that's annoying me most of all, I think) and I still don't feel like I'm keeping up as well as I should be - I kind of feel like everyone else has a lot more terminology than me, or at least, it comes easier to them than it does to me, which is frustrating, particularly because I could be doing more work and I'm sort of...not.

Still, fuck it, I'm happy. I've got friends and Critical Theory and will quite possibly be able to do gender studies for my second Restoration essay, which would just be plain awesome.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a short story called 'The Storyteller', which I actually quite like. And now there's a creative writing competition at University and I am tempted. Very tempted. On the other hand, I am very awkward about showing something I like that isn't fandom related to anyone. Particularly this story, which is the first thing I've written since this summer and is , well, important to me. Also, I'm not sure it doesn't need editing, but I'm kind of sensitive about it - I don't really want someone to rip it apart. Dilemma.

Speaking of writing, I have about 1000 words of English Department fic, except it has completely departed the world of RPF and entered the world of original fiction (which is both exciting and odd) and also it is present tense. Which is...freaky. I'll probably end up changing it. Mostly I'm just kind of surprised I'm writing. It's both nice and frustrating because, well, as I was talking to Sofie about when she was here, I don't really think of myself as a writer. I think of myself as an academic writer (to a certain degree, anyway), but not a fiction writer. And yet, now it's as if something is working and I'm writing - not all the time, but sometimes. It's very strange.

It's also frustrating, because guess who hasn't started on her Restoration passage analysis yet? Oh, that would be me! (And it's due in in two weeks, why do I do this to myself?)

Oh! Finally, may I highly recommend Company of Liars? I got it from Gemma for our anniversary and it hooked me; it's about a band of travellers during the first year of the plague - a trader in sacred relics, a couple on the run, a deformed storyteller, a magician, two musicians, a healer and little girl who tells runes. It manages to be both a riveting, creepy story as well as interesting on a human level; the characters are compelling, the history well-researched and worked into the text (none of that exposition blather) and captures the sense of fear that the plague must have evoked believably. It's just really, really good and has an excellent narrative voice and a really awesome twist at the end. Very, very much recommended.

And now I should probably go to bed, so I am well-rested for tomorrow's day o'Torchwood. Mmm.

Oh God, this story is not even half done and it's already two-thousand words longer than anything else I've ever written. I. I think I'm slightly in shock here. And I managed to exceed my word count again today (I'm trying to do a thousand words a day; today I did 1,964). I don't know why I'm so motivated about this particular story, except perhaps that it's been lingering in my head for almost four years now, and this is the first time I've been able to see the entire thing and get it to make sense. Still. Scary as all hell. Particularly since I'm just writing and writing and I don't know if it's any good at all.

Meanwhile, why can I find anyone who wants to go see OotP with me tomorrow? Argh! Stupid people and their jobs and their holidays and living in other countries.

also, people talking about the non-exsistence of global warming are pissing me off. what would be the POINT of lying about something like that? seriously? stop being morons. please. for my sanity's sake.

Anyone want to beta a drabble-cycle-which-isn't-really? It's really short, 700 words (well, 800 with the quote) and it's L&O, though no fandom familiarity is required.

Short update on Leicester: English students have arrived. I've chatted with a few, and hung out with a few from my floor, but am currently all a-twitter about Freya's imment arrival and as such, not the best company. I'm sure there'll be time to make up for that - and anyway, I have a year of living with these people, I'm sure I'll be forced to get to know them. Particularly Emily next door seems very nice and a girl in B, whose name I didn't catch, also seemed quite cool. Plus, a lot of English majors and History majors around, so I'll definitely meet a few of them in classes. All in all, I'm still buzzed about this. Let's see how I feel after Fresher's week is over and done. Hopefully, by then I will be back to a standard accent, instead of veering between American and British like an insane person.

Also, music rec: Regina Spektor, particularly Mary Ann meets the Gravediggers and specifically Consequence of Sounds which is amazing.

Got to run - Freya'll be here in less than an hour.