ink_splotch

I'm very seriously considering begging off a party one of my friends' girlfriend is hosting tomorrow, so I'll be awake to go to church. It's a little silly, because HI I don't see my friends that often, and HI, student. Drinking with friends is kind of a thing you know? But I didn't get to church last Sunday because of travel, and I miss it, and I miss England, and I'd rather be awake and go to church and then go home and get some work done.

(Also, this place is ridiculously pretty and zen and parties are not. On the whole.)

On a completely unrelated note, look at the Gender & Sexuality MA at Manchester. It's looks an awful lot like a course with pratical application, and seems to have a lot of cross-over between cultural studies and sociology and it is so my second choice now. Seriously, it looks ridiculously good.

(Newcastle, of course, remains my top priority, but still. I would not be unhappy at Manchester.)

I should go to bed. It's really rather unlikely that I will be able to write anything sensible on my dissertation when I'm about to face plant into the keyboard.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: patti scialfa - black ladder

Why does everything about Merlin result in me making UTTERLY STUPID FACE OF JOY? No, seriously, I was reading this (Colin/Bradley RPS, PG) and testing my webcam at the same time, and I looked up and OH HI THERE STUPID FACE OF JOY.

Oh, fandom how do you make everything so ace?

This is NOT getting Yuletide written, self

ETA: \o/

Current Mood: happy

I've just written 1000 words of my dissertation. For one subheading. On one of the bulletpoints I'm supposed to covering. On on of the three texts I'm supposed to be discussing.

Not only that, but I only have two secondary criticism quotes, neither of which actually pertain to performativity which is what I'm writing about.

Once again, I'd like to note the 5000 words really is fuck all. Also, I'd like to note that I'm going to go and cry somewhere now. Or possibly watch Hot Fuzz and then cry.

Current Mood: aggravated

I was watching ITV3's The Story of the Costume Drama almost purely for the Brideshead Revisited clips. In fact, I was assuming that any talk between the clips would be about sets and costumes, and was expecting to tune it out mostly. Except, then Anthony Andrews was there (he played Sebastian) and talking about Brideshead Revisited as the first gay love story shown on British TV. Which. I didn't expect them to say it, and then they showed the scene where Sebastian and Charles go to see the ivy, arm in arm; Anthony Andrews went on to talk about how today there would have to be a sex scene to make it a love story, but he thought the strength was in the lack of grit and sweat - it's just a simple, romantic and sensual relationship, and it doesn't have to be sexual to be all of those things. And I was all YES THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

And then I got really resigned looks for Bean and R. "Yes, Marie. We know. We all know."

In other news, Anthony Andrews' voice is kind of madly lovely. And now I'm re-reading Brideshead Revisited, which maps on almost exactly to the adaptation, which is impressive and also is just so, so sweet and sad. Oh, Sebastian and Charles. How you break my heart ♥.

Speaking of the-love-that-can't-be-named, how awesome is this?

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Among other things, it's a nice game of recognize the celebrity. And also it's hilarious. And has Alison Janney.

I only appear deep, it seems.

Also, I thought you might like to know that I am typing this from my throne - which is to say, my bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets. I am doing this because our boilers conked out, and I'm on day two of no heat. So. Cold. I'm typing to keep up circulation in my hands. I'm also actively panicking about my dissertation because it distracts me from the cold.

It kind of makes me feel like a proper student.

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: fairytale of new york - the pogues feat. kirsty maccoll

Merlin and Arthur's epic love continues to make me ridiculously happy. I mean. LUDICROUSLY giggly, I can't even tell you! ( 1x10 & 1x11 )

And next week, lesbians! (Hopefully)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: lights - scissor sisters

One of the things I love about going for an ultrasound is the other people. All of whom stare at you as if you've just wandered in from the street wearing next-to-nothing, on your way from one man to another. Without fail. It's hilarious.

Also in the hilarity column, I was watching Ice Blues in the livingroom while doing dishes with Bean. Housemate C wondered in, and watch a couple of the action scenes with us, and was like: wow, guns, knifes, hand-to-hand combat, this has everything!

Bean and I: *do not say "And gay sex!"*

C: You probably like it for the right reasons, like character development and plot and interactions.

Bean and I: *giggle madly and do not say "And gay sex!"*

Good times, man.

So, what else is new? The SU is threatening to cut me off if I don't send them documents which I've already sent. Twice. I'm not sure what's going on there, but I figure call them Thursday and sort this out. They're nice people right? I mean. For a Danish government agency.

My dissertation presentation is next Thursday; it currently has a powerpoint and will possibly actually have a speech to go with it by Thursday. It's just that I still don't actually know what I'm doing. There's part of me that's very (very) tempted to go full on cultural studies and just talk about the representation of the struggle for a working family model in my texts, but that seems too easy and also more like I'm doing a sociology degree than an English degree - not that I'm not tempted at this point. Particularly because I've been reading a lot of Stephanie Coontz, who makes family theory seem fun and useful, and compounds her damage by also being really useful in relation to my dissertation.

My dissertation is, at the moment, for those following this saga, currently titled: Real and Imagined Communities in Coming of Age Literature. Which is a pretentious way of saying: Families, real and created. It is actually quite interesting - I'm certainly more excited about this than I've been about any title for a while, but it just all seems like so much stress, you know? Like, I've been doing this for six months now, how is it not done?

Oh, life, why so crazy?

I'm off to dance around to the Scissor Sisters some more. Because I wouldn't want to be productive or anything.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: the other side - the scissor sisters

I announced to the room, as we were watching Eddington and Einstein, that I couldn't see people at Oxford, pre-1930, in their dress without thinking they're gay; approximately a minute later, R announced that Eddington was in fact gay.

I'm not sure what to make of this (except maybe cry - David Tennat is such an amazing actor, something I think I underappreciated when he was playing Who).

I'm faintly annoyed that Eddington & Einstein didn't come out before the

yuletide deadline; I can't help think you could write some excellent stories inspired by it.

Speaking of

yuletide (but not my story, which I have yet to start), I really want to get to the archive and see if they have any Donald Strachey fics. Because apparently, the way to deal with dissertation stress is to watch pulp-y gay crime thrillers. It's very entertaining and I massively adore the relationship between Donald and Timmy - mostly Timmy, because he's so sweet and long-suffering. But then again, I always have a thing for the partner. And the films are just - not pointless fluff, exactly, but romps, crime romps, entertainng to watch and not demanding too much energy.

Which is good, 'cause I have very little.

In other news: Warwick kind of fails on a number of levels, and I'm off to Newcastle on Wednesday. Whee!

Current Mood: pensive

Making lists in surprisingly therapeutic. Like making plans. I'm faintly afraid that when I get to January 13th, I'll be turning in plans and lists, rather than an actual coherent dissertation.

(I suppose I could argue post-modernism. "Lists and plans, you see, give an impression of the whole - an idea of meaning that a full essay would not add anything to. If you look at Derrida, I think you'll find I have a point. I'm sure it's somewhere in there.")

Also, the Bean is moving into my house, due to various minor catastrophes. This is rather exciting, and slightly unreal.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Pirate Sounds - Mattt Popieluch

YAY!
( Dear Yuletide Writer )

Current Mood: happy

Among my notes for my essay on Catcher in the Rye, I've written (hopefully, this will illustrate that Marie is actually doing something useful with her life and not just indulging herself \o/), which is special in itself, but then a little further down, there's note saying Mormon underwear kink, who knew?

I really shouldn't do notes while watching films, I feel. Particularly not films with gay sex. Hee!

Also, I have booked open days for Warwick and Newcastle, which is a step in the right direction re: making decisions about the future (Newcastle, iiih!) and have been listening to hymns on my iPod while cocooned in Gemma's room reading Emma. This is making me feel very warm and safe and like maybe my life is still a little bit awesome, even if it is also a big confusing mess.

Also, Far From Heaven is on TV. Mmm, hot chocolate, Gemma and Julianne Moore.

But there will still be dancing tomorrow night. And haircuts with Bean on Wednesday.

Current Mood: good

Now is the time of Barack Obama. It's been a long time coming.

Also, I thought McCain's speech was really gracious. He managed to redeem himself slightly and that made me happy as well.

Current Mood: jubilant
Current Music: YES WE CAN

1.I can do victory arms on my new computer! See: \o/

YAY!

1a. Though currently I can't play my West Wing episodes on this computer. Dammit, I want to watch In the Shadow of Two Gunmen

2. I think I may be a little bit in love with everyone in my house after Monday evening. This is mostly good - just being at home makes me happy and calm and like maybe I'm not failing at life - and I do occiasonally need reminding of this - but it's also triggering a little bit of ending-related melancholy. I won't be here next year and that's just weird. And more than a little bit sad.

2a. Also, it makes me think about my Masters and how I don't even know who to get references from. Urgh.

2b. Tomorrow, for Halloween, I am going as Wendy, Gemma is going as Peter Pan, and housemate J is going as Hook.

HEE!

3.

You know, I've always like Obama, but I never really got the hype - he's a good guy, but he's hardly the saviour of America. And then I watched this tonight. He's still not the saviour of America, but he is lovely. *draws hearts*

4. Fade to Black - proving, once again, that Hot Fuzz fic makes the world substantially better.

5. ♥!

5a. Because y'all are awesome, have Simon Amstell and Stephen Fry flirting. And also Josie Long being adorable.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: scissor sisters - everybody wants the same thing

It could annoy me, but really Richard Dawkins' general insanity is rather amusing. You know what I'm sure will convince people to go into science? Telling them it's either science or their fantasy novels.

Also, I put in nominations for Yuletide today - which means I really should try and do it this year. Which, uhm, should be difficult, considering my work load, but then again - I really want to get writing again, and maybe this'll motivate me to actually structure my time. A radical thought. Though at this point, I'm putting in about 15 hours a week on my dissertation, 5 hours on American Literature and, uh, about twenty minutes or so on Romantics (it's kind of terribly boring, you guys!).

Back to Yuletide, anyway - my main nominations are: 'Un Lun Dun' (which is so excellent ♥), Merlin (someone will write me Gwen/Morgana, dammit), 'World Without End' (because there is not enough Catholic gay sex in my life right now) and Hot Fuzz (more Hot Fuzz fic makes the world a better place, tru fax) and, natch, Fried Green Tomatoes. I'm kind of hoping to write on Merlin - so much fun!

(not that I'm still obsessing about Merlin, and not that last night's episode made me wibble or anything. GAIUS HAD TO CHOOSE AND FORESHADOWING AND OH NOES YOU GUYS!)

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: black ladder - patti scialfa

I might be slightly (ever-so-slightly, promise!) getting into Merlin. But it's not my fault! It's messing with me with it's pretty characters (Morgana, you guys, she's just so beautiful) and the amazing chemistry they all have (Morgana's mad crush on Gwen, Arthur's thing for Merlin, Merlin's thing for Arthur and Lancelot and hi, this show is slightly, slightly gay) and did I mention the pretty? And it's fun and silly and doesn't take itself seriously, and can you say comfort TV? mmmm.

Also, it produces madly delicious angst like this, by

thisissirius, who writes wonderfully and is all about the repression and denial and it's possible I have this thing for not giving, denying yourself, and I don't even know what that's about. But I will recommend the fic and the series and demand more femslash. Now!

Current Mood: cheerful

I just bought this! I am very excited about this! But slightly worried, as I have done this more-or-less all by my lonesome and that seems very grown up and therefore worrying.

*ponders this*

Still. New laptop!

Current Mood: excited

GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

From here

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: he shall, from time to time - the west wing

So, hey, as of today, Gemma and I have been together for twenty months, which is weird, because on one hand it feels like longer (I mean, we got together in first year, that's ages ago), but on the other hand - 20 months. Huh. I kind of didn't expect that. Which makes it all the more exciting. And just lovely. I feel so lucky, you know?

---

There's been a re-shuffle in my house in past days, as R has given up her course in France and returned to Leicester, thus prompting boyT&girlT to move out and into a bedsit together. While I'm happy to have R back (really, really happy, because R is the easiest person in the world to chat to and one of the most fun to argue with) I really wish boyT weren't moving, because I hardly see anything of him as it is, and I like him.

I'm feeling a bit discontent about my house in general anyway, since the moving in of JD, who is neurotic and worried and talks all the time and is kind of badly socialized and keeps trying to pick arguments with me about really, really stupid things. And it's not fair to be frustrated about him, it's not fair to hold it against him that he's him, but honestly - I miss my old house. And I miss being pervy and having inside jokes and quoting Spaced at each other and not having to explain things every five minutes (and yes, I realize it's semi-recently that I've had all that, but seriously - this summer was so good, it's kind of sad that it couldn't continue on into the year)

On the plus side, J and I have taken to quoting The West Wing at each other. Further creation of in-house fandom, yay!

Also on the plus side, university started today in epic form, with a lecture on the Romantics (who are always epic and always comedy gold) and seminar on coming of age in American which was so excellent I think I may be in love. I'm a little wary of getting too excited - second year apparently did a better job of almost breaking me than I thought - but for now? I'm really happy with it; it's exactly what I want, yes please. I've been reading Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin and Catcher in the Rye, and I can actually feel my brain kicking in and working - I want to take notes, I want to remember certain themes and ideas, but at the same time, I actually enjoy the books. Which is novel and new and have I mentioned how happy I am that this isn't second year anymore?

Current Mood: cheerful

I have an awful cold that resulted in me getting sent home from work - thus losing three hours pay, score - my cousin is visiting, which means I have to play the gracious host, and I'm supposed to be partying like it's my last chance this year.

Can it be Friday now please?

Current Mood: sick

When you see Dr ---- later this week, she will explain that there is a place available in the AM STUDS seminar for Coming of Age, which meets on Monday mornings.

That's it. Third year is officially going to be the most awesome year so far.

♥

You guys, I get to discuss Catcher in the Rye. IIIIIIIH! *flails madly*

Current Mood: giddy

I'm having a pretty good time right now. I feel very content and at peace with myself. Even the fact that I have a doctor's appointment to talk about my ultra-sound/scan this week isn't bugging me too much.

And because I am a sharing person (and a caring person!), I have decided to compile a list of things that make me happy, so that you might share in them.

1.

I've been listening to The Seeger Sessions: Live in Dublin all week, and getting a lot of glee out of it (folk music, who knew?). But particularly this song because it's one of my favourites anyway and I wouldn't have thought it could be improved upon. But it could and it is and just listen to the song. How gorgeous is that?

1a. Also, have a download of Frankie, the best Bruce Springsteen song ever (maybe).

2. You know when you want something to read, and you're kind of in the mood for something soppy and romantic and not straight? But you don't trust the Amazon recommendations, because quite frankly, they lie? Well, now there's this awesome post by

cesperanza, which should contain enough recs to keep me happy for years to come.

2a. Also keeping me happy? The Best Short Stories of Lesléa Newman, most of which are lovely and quite of few of which are happy and involve sex. Yay, romantic lesbians!

2b. (When I'm not reading lesbian stories and academic things, I've been reading the Anne of Green Gables series. I can't help it! It makes me so happy!)

3. So, I've recently been up north, visiting Friend R, and I may be slightly enamored. And for enamored, read madly in love with Newcastle and Newcastle University. It all looks so awesome! And exciting! And they have a sort of "fast-track" degree where you can sign up for a PhD immediately, which seems oddly tempting. Particularly for children's literature at Newcastle, which looks amazing. I'm also tempted by the 'Literature, Memory and Culture' option, which looks oddly like something relevant and useful related to English.

3a. Seriously, Newcastle has a moor, a river, seven bridges and coffee rooms. I WANT TO LIVE THERE, you have no idea.

4. Today, it has been sunny, church was nice, lunch at the minister's afterwards was nicer, and going home and snuggling up to nap with Gemma was nicest. I feel so incredibly lucky sometimes.

5. Also, you guys gave very helpful advice with regards to my laptop issues. Thank you! ♥

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: open all night - bruce springsteen & the seeger sessions band

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30

together we'll tame the winds and calm this storm

I AM BRADLEY JAMES' RIDICULOUS VOICE

why does my degree enjoy making me cry?

i built my dreams around you

i'm on the run to where ever you are

now there's never gonna be an intermission

maybe a world i can call mine, shining like the street lights

we wandered around and wandered around

yuletide again!

i don't feel like dancing, no sir, no dancing tonight

stayed awake and it was worth it

down here on magic street

tell me that i still matter, tell you that i still care

it's a fairytale so tragic

it's all curvy too

government can be a place where people come together

you gave me carnival kisses oh my love

on the plus side, I can't hear in one ear right now

YES!

new jersey in the morning like a lunar landscape

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April 2009

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