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ink_splotchI may have just bought a vibrator.
I blame this on the fact that Jenny and I had a rather animated discussion while having lunch together today about sex shops. It included us complaining about the lack of them in Leicester - all we have is an Ann Summers, which is way to expensive, heteronormative and also full of giggling girls. Not that I really mind that, but it does grate a bit. It's nothing like LUST back in Copenhagen, where I can spend half an hour browsing and just enjoying the atmosphere. I love LUST, it's one of the nicest shops, and it's just so kind of low-key and relaxed. My sex life is predominantly with myself (and will be for a while, 'cause I really, really don't want to rush things with Gemma and fuck them up) and I'm a full believer in enjoying it full out, but more than that - sex amuses me. I like just browsing and getting turned on, or cracking up (seriously? Have you *seen* some of the vibrators they make? I seriously wouldn't be able to get off for giggling). Sex is fun! Plus LUST has freakin' everything you could possibly want.
Also, for some reason in Denmark, despite the fact that we're all more than happy to discuss our sex lives with other people - really, sometimes veering into overshare in public places, and that's even without the addition of alcohol - but we hardly ever talk about masturbation. Which is a shame, because I know I could use tips (seriously, guys? If you ever want to talk about masturbation, I am SO THERE.). For some reason masturbation seems more taboo than sex, and I can't quite figure out why.
However, since I've come to England, I've had discussions with people who are not Sofie or Freya about masturbation, vibrators and sex toys. Granted with Lily, Jenny and Gemma who are more mature than most, but still. Considering Ros can barely talk about sex and Mike can't seem to get over the fact that I can, I'm quite bemused by this. Still, it's good for me, since if there's a topic I enjoy it's sex. We should all talk about it more - in open terms, I mean, not the constant sniggering or hinting that goes on.
Jenny and I also discussed the buying of video pornography, which was an astonishingly liberating thing for me, because it's something I've often been tempted to do, but always felt a bit embarressed about. No longer! Which brings me right back to my point, which is communication.
Anyway, this led to Jenny sending me her favourite online links, and me browsing them, which naturally led to my hopefully soon once again being the proud owner of a vibrator. I am a little amused by the fact it took me all of four clicks to determine which one I wanted - too much time spent in LUST? Too much helping others to buy theirs?
Finally, this post should definitely be seen as an invitation to talk about masturbation. Or sex. Or kinks. Or turn-ons. Or favourite fantasies. Go crazy!
ETA: Incidentally this is the site I used. It's quite cheap and easy, and they have a really good selection. This is the vibrator I ended up buying.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 08:48 pm (UTC)I quite agree. We talk far too little about masturbation - really, we do. In fact, I've only spoken to you and Tess about it, which is. Well. Odd, maybe?
And I'm dying for a real and open discussion about it with someone I trust. I *want* to ask and explain and *communicate* about it, because you get terribly alone with only your own hands to keep you company. (I did not mean that as porny as it came out. *Really*.)
TMI: Every night, when I go to bed, I spin myself a fantasy. Not necessarily sexual. but, um. It very often is. Very often fandom-related, very often with Mary Sue (=ego) galore. It started as a reward for actually going to bed - I could spin myself a deeply self-indulgent story once I laid down in bed with the lights off. I have trouble falling asleep, you see. It often takes hours for me to actually do it. So going to bed very often seems futile, but when you have something to look forward to...
You get my drift.
Video porn. Man, I don't know. I mean, I'm all for it and everything, but from my (admittedly very limited and old) experience, video porn is mostly made for men (dear god, I still have nightmares about those breasts), and the porn that *isn't* is all very gentle and very boring. Feel free to prove me wrong!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 01:56 pm (UTC)We really do, which is bad because as you noted - think of what we could learn! Also, I think there is a sense of loneliness about masturbation, because even though you know other people do it, it still seems almost shameful, like you should be having "proper" sex, rather than just going at it yourself.
Which is just silly, really.
Mmm, I do that too. I've done it forever, telling myself stories to get to sleep, and then, yeah, they turned sexual over the years. I had a period of time where I couldn't get to sleep unless I masturbated - I'm guessing the orgasm relaxed me, and the fantasy distracted me, so I wasn't too tense, or thinking too hard to get to sleep. And I think it's a lovely idea, using it as a "reward", a way to make it fun to go to bed.
See, I have the same problem (except for this one thing that came on one night, where the woman was stunning, and the man quite hot and there was this whole power-play scenario and a lot of teasing and oral sex and man, so fucking hot.), so I'm hoping Jenny will rec some. Apparently some of the lesbian stuff (like, real lesbian stuff, not just male titillation) is pretty damn good, so I'd like to see that.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 08:20 pm (UTC)Yeah. Like, masturbations is what you do when you can't get yourself a partner - so it shows a basic flaw or something. Ridiculous, but still.
Oh, yeah. It can be very nice indeed. *grins*
I actually think you're right in saying that lesbian porn can be quite good - I just, you know, don't think there's quite the same quality out there for someone who wants M/F or M/F/M *without* those damned silly interludes where the girls make out with each other while they wait for the main attraction - read: the men - to arrive. But that thing you're talking about actually sounds... nice.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-18 06:30 pm (UTC)Absolutely ridiculous, since masturbation a) is fun, b) is safe and c) teaches you about your own body.
I feel a paper coming on. Hm.
I'm sure there's stuff out there; apparently some of the light d/s stuff is better than most porn (it seems women are more into d/s than men, which actually makes sense now I think about it) - which corresponds with that one particular showing I saw. And now I'm all intrigued, and want to do, like, research and stuff. I'm clearly not in my right mind.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-18 09:36 pm (UTC)Exactly!
Write it! You know you want to. *grins*
Yum, d/s. If you hear of something good, let me know, okay? In other words, research away!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-19 05:59 pm (UTC)I do. I really, really do. I'm pretty sure it's an occupational hazard (I read or watch any kind of text and at least 30% of my mind is going, "well, this could be fun to explore academically, this conforms to post-modernist conventions, this subverts the gothic expectation, I wonder if anyone else has noticed that theme of mirrors, paired with the theme of self-discovery through creation, I wonder what that contrast means, I wonder if this could be a paper." ARGH!)
Honey, you're first on my email list ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-19 07:50 pm (UTC)It's part of what I love about you.
Yay! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 07:30 pm (UTC)♥
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-24 04:11 pm (UTC)