Take three, here we go....

[ink_splotch]

The always edible Natalie Portman. Mmmm, and short documentary. I like'em. I wanna lick Natalie. Honestly. I can't even focus on what's going on, she's so lovely. Aw, the winners are cute. 'We live together and work together. Don't do that'

Thank you, Chris Rock. And no, you don't get to do that. And hey! Pulp Fiction theme! Awesome! Hey, original score. C'mon, Finding Neverland, c'mon. YAY! Finally, people!! Hee, accent, very cute.

No one needs to thank Harvey Weinstein. That's what the HUGE paycheck is for.

MARTY! DENMARK! DENMARK! And yay, we're the humanitarian award!! Is that the...it is!! Land before Time music. Aw! I love the music for that! Hersholt Humanitarian Award, yay. And Roger Mayer accepts it for saving movies, which is kinda cute. Wow, he's cool. And okay, now we can move on. Why does he get 20 minutes when arts and sounds awards are more-or-less hurried off stage (if they even get up there in the first case)? NOT ON, ACADEMY!

Ooooh, Annette Bening. I shall never forget her for introducing me to Aaron Sorkin. Yay for TWW references. AND YO-YO MA! SHOUT. OUT.

I love 'in memoriam' though I don't think Regan should have been first. Oh man, Bambi's artist died. Aww, Jerry Orbach. Christopher Reeves, of course. Rodney Dangerfield, MARLON!


Okay, Søren Høi. You did not just cut away from the Oscars to talk about the Razzies. I hate you Søren Høi. So much. And now a clip from Catwoman, because you don't suck enough already.

....more Beyonce. I should have bought alcohol. And Puffy's introducing. Yeah. Someone pass me a beer.

yes Beyonce, over do it. BECAUSE YOUR OUTFIT ALONE ISN*T BAD ENOUGH. What are you doing woman?! OTOH Josh Groban's doing good. And he looks good too. Less 'I got attacked by a discoball and Celine Dion's vocal trainer'

Hey, hey, Prince! Best Orginal song, c'mon Shrek 2 or Motorcycle Diaries Or Les Choristes. Or, hell, Learn to be Lonely, just for Andrew. Yay! Motorcycle Diaries. Is it me or has it been a while since we saw anything for the Aviator. And that? Was the acceptance speech of the night. No one is going to top it, sorry.

Yay, Best Actress. It's Hillary's, bu...JEREMY IRONS!!! Have I mentioned that I adore everyone in this category? Oooh, but Kate Winslet. Please? Aw, Imelda's cute. She really is. C'mon Kate...nope, Hilary. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. Please don't...never mind. Aw, very sweet. But honestly, you don't have to thank everyone. You're cute, but still. OH COME ON. Hee, I like that she shut up the music.

Oh for fucks sake, Søren Høi, you did not just call 'Boys Don't Cry' and 'Million Dollar Baby' the same movie and the same role. Honestly, that's ridiculous, even for you. Shut up!

Oooh, Foreign movie. Mmm, I say Sea Inside, because no way are they giving an Oscar to a movie about Hitler. Why the fuck are the Academy in such a hurry, anyway?

Well go me then. And wow, they'll even let him come up on stage. They're so cute and accents and aww, yay Spain! Very, very cute.

SAMUEL L JACKSON, yay! Oooh, Original Screenplay, lets go. And no Aviator, please? Come on, ESoaSM

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! I'M SO GLAD YAYAYAYAYAY!!! Oh and Kate, you wonderful, lovely woman. Oh, Charlie, you're so adorable. And yay for not going on forever, I love you all. *kisses*

Almost there, almost there...

Is anyone actually interested in this award? Jamie Foxx, Ray, bla bla, 20 minutes acceptance speech, moving right along, ALAN!!!! Man, if I've typed Alan once, I've typed it 100 times today. Alan!!

Honey, don't worry. Daddy' gonna win, and yes, Jamie Foxx for Ray, there we go. Well deserved, well deserved. Lovely speech, please don't let him go on too long.

Ooh, little to the left and we woulda had Alan, dammit. Oprah, stop crying. You know, I love this part though, I love we he thanks his grandmother. It makes me all smushy. Yep, there we go. Only two left now (so, um. More Alan, please? And if you wanna throw in a little Jeremy? I wouldn't say nothing. Oh and more Natalie and Emmy, that'd be peachy)

Director, here it comes: Marty or Clint?

CLINT?! Eerr, okay. Lotta people gonna be pissed about that one. Poor Marty never gets any love, but then again, Aviator takes Best Picture. Which hopefully means Alan. I am *so* deep.

Yay, Jeremy! C'mon, one down three to go.

Ahaha, that's...so not funny. Honestly. Meet the Fockers? Bah. Dustin, yay!

Best Picture, I say Aviator, but they could shock me. HEY! Million Dollar Baby! Man, poor Marty gets no love. Man, Academy, you suck. Well, at least show the room so I can see my three. SHUT UP. C'mon, Alan. Natalie. Hell, even Emmy.

Or Chris Rock. What the fuck ever.

...

That was inspiring. Except not.

Comments

[poisoninjest.livejournal.com]

CLINT?! Eerr, okay. Lotta people gonna be pissed about that one. Poor Marty never gets any love

I have been cursing loudly and throwing things at the screen. ::sigh::

[vampirespider.livejournal.com]

I'll admit that I just wanted him to win so I could see Alan Alda again, 'cause I'm deep like that, but honestly? Martin Scorcsese deserved an Oscar about 10 years ago.

[lattara.livejournal.com]

That's alright honey, you're plenty inspiring for all of us. *g*

[vampirespider.livejournal.com]

Oscar ate my BRAIN!!

[lattara.livejournal.com]

I'll see if I can get it back to you.