ink_splotch (
ink_splotch) wrote2008-09-04 11:52 am
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we'll dance 'round this dirty town till the night is all gone
Yesterday, Gem and I trekked to the Borders on the outskirts of Leicester. And while I feel my book-buying alliciancy for the most part belongs to independent bookstores and Waterstones - glee! The store was a proper, epic, American-style store, with shelves and shelves of books, a huge magazine section, a proper Starbucks upstairs and an amazing children's book section. I was a little bit in heaven (so much so that I kind of forgot all about sensible budgeting and accidentally spent more than I should have, oops?), particularly because it was just so - familiar, I guess? Don't get me wrong, I love bookbrowsing in Waterstones, but this was so *big*, like you could browse for days and still not find everything, or discover some shelf category you hadn't seen before (seriously, it had all these hide-away shelves where it made *no sense*, which would have been annoying if I was looking for something specific, but was awesome since I wasn't).
Also, I found the last Anne of Green Gables book that I needed, so I now have the complete set. This makes me far happier than it should. I also picked up Olivia by Dorothy Strachey, which came with a pretty vintage cover (the plan is to read it aloud to Gemma, which should be interesting); The Waves by Virigina Woolf, which I'm looking forward to kind of disproportionately; Days of Reading by Marcel Proust (also equipped with a beautiful cover,) and a book on analysis and writing for academic purposes. Which made me think of my dissertation which is currently ever so slightly stalled. Hurrah?
Speaking of my dissertation - or rather, academic life - I've been thinking about post-graduate study far too much lately for my own sanity. I even managed to majorly depress B while she was here, which was quite impressive. It's just - the future, you know? And it's RIGHT THERE, just "around the next bend in the road", as Anne might say, and what if I'm not ready? What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't want this enough? What if I choose the wrong school, the wrong place and break my passion for English permanently? Particularly I'm worried because my academic interests aren't particularly coherent, and so I'm not completely sure what I want to do, and I'm desperately afraid that if I commit to something, I'll discover that I've lost something else - if I choose women and gender, will I end up at university that doesn't teach American literature - but then if I choose American literature, can I be sure I'll get critical theory and cultural criticism?
I'd say I'm tempted to take a year out, but frankly that's a lie. I'm far more scared of the real world than anything in academia.
But, in happy-making news, I got an email from the teaching co-ordinator for English saying that I may be able to transfer from Ibsen to Containment & Resistance for my special subject in semester one. So I may get to do American Studies after all, which means that next year is looking up even more - impressive, considering I've even been feeling upbeat about the Romantics.
Also, recently I have been watching insane amounts of Star Trek: Voyager and so much love, you guys. But that's for a different post. I need to go grocery shopping.
Also, I found the last Anne of Green Gables book that I needed, so I now have the complete set. This makes me far happier than it should. I also picked up Olivia by Dorothy Strachey, which came with a pretty vintage cover (the plan is to read it aloud to Gemma, which should be interesting); The Waves by Virigina Woolf, which I'm looking forward to kind of disproportionately; Days of Reading by Marcel Proust (also equipped with a beautiful cover,) and a book on analysis and writing for academic purposes. Which made me think of my dissertation which is currently ever so slightly stalled. Hurrah?
Speaking of my dissertation - or rather, academic life - I've been thinking about post-graduate study far too much lately for my own sanity. I even managed to majorly depress B while she was here, which was quite impressive. It's just - the future, you know? And it's RIGHT THERE, just "around the next bend in the road", as Anne might say, and what if I'm not ready? What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't want this enough? What if I choose the wrong school, the wrong place and break my passion for English permanently? Particularly I'm worried because my academic interests aren't particularly coherent, and so I'm not completely sure what I want to do, and I'm desperately afraid that if I commit to something, I'll discover that I've lost something else - if I choose women and gender, will I end up at university that doesn't teach American literature - but then if I choose American literature, can I be sure I'll get critical theory and cultural criticism?
I'd say I'm tempted to take a year out, but frankly that's a lie. I'm far more scared of the real world than anything in academia.
But, in happy-making news, I got an email from the teaching co-ordinator for English saying that I may be able to transfer from Ibsen to Containment & Resistance for my special subject in semester one. So I may get to do American Studies after all, which means that next year is looking up even more - impressive, considering I've even been feeling upbeat about the Romantics.
Also, recently I have been watching insane amounts of Star Trek: Voyager and so much love, you guys. But that's for a different post. I need to go grocery shopping.
no subject
YOU SUCK. SO, SO MUCH.
Also, please for you to stop discussing lovely, lovely books when I just spent 200 pounds on textbooks.
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I DO NOT SUCK THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
Sorry dear *hugs* If it makes you feel any better, I am without internet, my laptop is dying and I have an ultrasound next week because no one can figure out what's wrong with my stomach/uterus. So I'm kind of entitled to the books? A little?
Also, when do you start back at Uni?
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Oh, dammit, honey, why haven't you said anything? That sucks so, so much. Is there anything I can do? (and when is the ultrasound?) I've got some money I could lend you to go towards a new laptop?
I started the first, so I've just passed the one-week mark. And no lie: I met one of my high school class mates going into the lecture hall. She just started this term. How weird is that?
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It occurs to me that my last comment came off as really snappish and - I don't know, like my problems > yours, or something. That wasn't intended, I'm sorry *hugs*
The ultrasound is on Saturday. At this point, there's really not anything that can be done except crossing your fingers and hope it's nothing serious. The laptop situation should be okay, but I'll keep your offer in mind - thank you very much, I really do appreciate it.
Heh, I also forget how small Denmark is, you know? How are you liking your second year?
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No, truly, it didn't. Promise. And I wasn't really in such a bad mood, I just needed to vent a little bit, you know? And I want to know what's going on with *you*, especially if it's *this*.
You know I'm crossing my fingers for you and thinking about you. Does Gem have to work or can she come with you?
Sometimes, so do I. Hee. So far, so good, really. A lot of fun, great classes that are actually interesting (ahahaha, Biological Psychology, I'm looking at you). How about you?
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*hugs you*
Gem has promised to be there holding my hand. It's kind of stupid, because it's probably nothing, but I've been feeling weirdly broody lately and I can't stop thinking about what they might find and what it might mean, and Sofie, what do I do if they tell me something's seriously wrong? What if I can't have children? What if it's cancer? It's so stupid, I know, but I can't stop thinking about uiy.
Yay for university! I, err, haven't started yet? So I have no idea how it is. However, I have a new supervisior for my dissertation and may be transferring to American Studies, so I'm quite pleased with the outlook so far.
♥
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And honey. If it's cancer? Then we deal with it. But *only* when we know it's something serious. It is in no way helpful to worry about all the possible bad things it might be - it won't fix it, anyway, and you're only draining yourself of energy. Don't do that. ♥
*grins at you* Oh, you lazy bastard. When do you start?
no subject