ink_splotch: (when i sleep i dream [run away])
So, I'm kind of madly happy. I'm not entirely sure why, either, particularly because I've had moments of extreme malaise and worry about exams and my future during today, but it sort of passed during Medieval Lit (though I still say a lecture at 5 till 6 is unreasonably late), stuck between Becca and Phil and making stupid comments and jokes about religion (University: if you can't make fun of it, it ain't worth studying). Which is awesome, since it means that now I'm here, sleepy and quite content. Mmmmm. Even though I am vaguely missing Gemma, who's gone home for two days. It's not too bad, though, sort of a comfortable ache.

I mean, I'm still worried about my grades (which I don't get until next week and, I just - I've never felt so badly after an exam, and it's not really a comfortable feeling) and my thesis (because it's soon, really soon now, and I'm still not entirely sure what I want to write about: Fairytales and the Creation of Identity in The Book of Lost Things, The Function of the Fictional in The Book of the Duchess or something completely different, maybe to do with gender. And it's the fact that I don't feel like there's anyone in the faculty I could really go to to get help with this that's annoying me most of all, I think) and I still don't feel like I'm keeping up as well as I should be - I kind of feel like everyone else has a lot more terminology than me, or at least, it comes easier to them than it does to me, which is frustrating, particularly because I could be doing more work and I'm sort of...not.

Still, fuck it, I'm happy. I've got friends and Critical Theory and will quite possibly be able to do gender studies for my second Restoration essay, which would just be plain awesome.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a short story called 'The Storyteller', which I actually quite like. And now there's a creative writing competition at University and I am tempted. Very tempted. On the other hand, I am very awkward about showing something I like that isn't fandom related to anyone. Particularly this story, which is the first thing I've written since this summer and is , well, important to me. Also, I'm not sure it doesn't need editing, but I'm kind of sensitive about it - I don't really want someone to rip it apart. Dilemma.

Speaking of writing, I have about 1000 words of English Department fic, except it has completely departed the world of RPF and entered the world of original fiction (which is both exciting and odd) and also it is present tense. Which is...freaky. I'll probably end up changing it. Mostly I'm just kind of surprised I'm writing. It's both nice and frustrating because, well, as I was talking to Sofie about when she was here, I don't really think of myself as a writer. I think of myself as an academic writer (to a certain degree, anyway), but not a fiction writer. And yet, now it's as if something is working and I'm writing - not all the time, but sometimes. It's very strange.

It's also frustrating, because guess who hasn't started on her Restoration passage analysis yet? Oh, that would be me! (And it's due in in two weeks, why do I do this to myself?)

Oh! Finally, may I highly recommend Company of Liars? I got it from Gemma for our anniversary and it hooked me; it's about a band of travellers during the first year of the plague - a trader in sacred relics, a couple on the run, a deformed storyteller, a magician, two musicians, a healer and little girl who tells runes. It manages to be both a riveting, creepy story as well as interesting on a human level; the characters are compelling, the history well-researched and worked into the text (none of that exposition blather) and captures the sense of fear that the plague must have evoked believably. It's just really, really good and has an excellent narrative voice and a really awesome twist at the end. Very, very much recommended.

And now I should probably go to bed, so I am well-rested for tomorrow's day o'Torchwood. Mmm.
ink_splotch: (you&i at the end of the world [together])
I'm not sure if y'all already know this, but [ profile] cesperenza has PodFic. Including MVP which fills me with a warm squishy feeling because it is my second favourite thing in the SGA fandom (two episodes of the show, but damn I love the fandom!)

However, that's just a side note. Really, I am here to rec: There Must Be a Word by [ profile] garnettrees. Band of Brothers, Winters/Nixon, PG-13 (images of war, mostly). The short version of my reccomendation goes: Winters tries to find a word to describe what's going on between Nix and him. [ profile] garnettrees writes beautifully and the story flows really, really well, images following almost inevitably after each other.

The long rec )

If you couldn't be bothered to read the long (rather blathering) bit, the basic encapsulation goes: this story is better than porn. It makes me FLAIL, people.
ink_splotch: (in a blur of fluttering wings [winged])
Oh God, this story is not even half done and it's already two-thousand words longer than anything else I've ever written. I. I think I'm slightly in shock here. And I managed to exceed my word count again today (I'm trying to do a thousand words a day; today I did 1,964). I don't know why I'm so motivated about this particular story, except perhaps that it's been lingering in my head for almost four years now, and this is the first time I've been able to see the entire thing and get it to make sense. Still. Scary as all hell. Particularly since I'm just writing and writing and I don't know if it's any good at all.

Meanwhile, why can I find anyone who wants to go see OotP with me tomorrow? Argh! Stupid people and their jobs and their holidays and living in other countries.

also, people talking about the non-exsistence of global warming are pissing me off. what would be the POINT of lying about something like that? seriously? stop being morons. please. for my sanity's sake.
ink_splotch: (wish i could be [longing])
I'm really supposed to be writing, even if it's just to make sure that I keep my discipline and so this day isn't a complete waste of time. Instead, I'm reading band!slash and listening to music and wondering if I'm having a teenage-revival. I was a teenager consistently for all of six months when I was 13, and maybe three months in America; the rest of the time, I've been an insecure 35-year-old, or five-year-old, depending on time and day. Except now I'm feeling like a teenager. And not a particularly old one, like maybe 15 or 16? Maybe it's just because I'm listening to Fall Out Boy (who are awesome, but also remind me of my 13/15-year-old self; this was not my most functional period, so why I like FOB so much is a little beyond me. Except for the aforementioned awesomeness, and also their songs titles.) And maybe because I'm re-reading Harry Potter and loving the teenage elements of it, where before I've always wanted the children's book side. And maybe because I'm writing again, which I haven't done in ages, and I'm writing like proper long original fic, which I haven't done since, uh, 16? (Wow, it's actually longer than I thought.)

Also, my posts are full of emo, and Gemma is accusing my music taste of being the same. And what better way to prove that I've rapidly descended into teendom?

I'm beginning to think Gemma is right and I think too much. I blame all the free time I have! And now, I am going to go finish this fic and then write my thousand words, dammit!

And also keep listening to Fall Out Boy, because, really - love.
ink_splotch: (be your partner and friend [together])
Anyone want to beta a drabble-cycle-which-isn't-really? It's really short, 700 words (well, 800 with the quote) and it's L&O, though no fandom familiarity is required.

Short update on Leicester: English students have arrived. I've chatted with a few, and hung out with a few from my floor, but am currently all a-twitter about Freya's imment arrival and as such, not the best company. I'm sure there'll be time to make up for that - and anyway, I have a year of living with these people, I'm sure I'll be forced to get to know them. Particularly Emily next door seems very nice and a girl in B, whose name I didn't catch, also seemed quite cool. Plus, a lot of English majors and History majors around, so I'll definitely meet a few of them in classes. All in all, I'm still buzzed about this. Let's see how I feel after Fresher's week is over and done. Hopefully, by then I will be back to a standard accent, instead of veering between American and British like an insane person.

Also, music rec: Regina Spektor, particularly Mary Ann meets the Gravediggers and specifically Consequence of Sounds which is amazing.

Got to run - Freya'll be here in less than an hour.
ink_splotch: (fighting the good fight [law])
I need to return all my library books and CDs (a bit of a shame - I really did want to read Eleanor Rigby; the introduction is all kinds of amusing: it is a recitation of conspiracy theories); I also need to collect my DVDs and books from Rasmus. Finally, I need to pack down my CDs and then, finally, my suitcase. And then I'll be ready to go.

Except not at all. It's not that I don't want to go - I really, really do - I just don't want the transition period. I want to leave - pick up here and then set down right back in my life - no pauses, no transition, no awkward phase of needing-to-socialize, needing-to-find-friends etc. I'm happy with my status now. I like to segue straight into the same status. If that makes sense?

But no matter; as of Sunday I will be in Leicester. And it will be good.

Also: I need to stop caring so much about grammar and, err, capitalization online. I may drive myself mad. (I joined a MySpace-like place for British university students, and they all seem to type in text-talk. I must seem incredibly odd, writing like I do.)


In other news, [ profile] littera_abactor has a post made of AWESOME right here. Which also hints that Yultide season is not far away; time to pimp out your fandoms, methinks!


I am not allowed to write fic. I am particularly not allowed to write fic about the 1990s. 'Cause that's just *scary*.


ink_splotch: (Default)

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