ink_splotch: (there will be time [poetry])
[personal profile] ink_splotch


I've listened to this song six times in a row now. It's ridiculously soothing and suits my mood kind of perfectly. I love the gentleness of the Zulu words particularly - they sound so...sweeping.

Today's weird. It was mostly normal until I curled up to read The End of the Affair. It's cold outside and the snow's still coming down, and I've been reading as the light fades, meaning that my room is mostly dark, just my bedside lamp lighting up enough to read. It is so quiet, so - unreal, almost - so peaceful in a rather sad way. I don't want to leave my bed; even though I know that part of the reason I feel so sad, so melancholy right now is because of the dark, because I feel so far away from the rest of the house. But it's warm here, and quiet, and I think I'll stay a little bit longer.

Two weeks ago, I was accepted onto Sussex University's Gender Studies MA. So far, six people know: a guy from my course, R, my parents, Bean and Gemma. I'm feeling very ambivalent about it. I am pleased to have got in; the course has everything I want and the department is the best in the country. Still, I don't particularly like Brighton, the town the University is nearest, and I feel like moving to a smaller city, with a university that's further from the city, is just the opposite of the wishes I set out for myself. Three months ago, I was going to be in Newcastle with Gemma; now I'm at the opposite end of the country, and Gemma will probably be at a university nearby, but not that near.

I know it's just a year. I know. But a year breaks down into a lot of days, and right now, I think I need to be sad about what I thought I wanted, before I can be happy about what I want now.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-12 06:30 pm (UTC)
ext_12785: A woman in a white dress, facing the camera, while the sunlight reflects off of the lens (Default)
From: [identity profile] lattara.livejournal.com
I think the important thing is that you don't have to decide now. There is still a possibility that you'll be accepted at Newcastle, right? Maybe your mourning is premature, even if there is no way this will work out perfectly for you.

*hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-15 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampirespider.livejournal.com
I've dropped Newcastle. I don't want to do their gender studies course - it doesn't have the course I'm interested in, and so I'm not applying. In fact, I'm not applying anywhere else, because, well, I got in. And it's where I want to be, and it's 12 months - I can wait out 12 months.

And then I go do my Ph.D. in Newcastle! See, I have plans!

*hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-15 03:47 pm (UTC)
ext_12785: A woman in a white dress, facing the camera, while the sunlight reflects off of the lens (Default)
From: [identity profile] lattara.livejournal.com
Yeah, that does sort of change things. Then, of course, it *is* going to be an issue. Where's Gem going, do you know yet? The 12 months are going to suck, somewhat, but if you're both on the same page, it can be done.

*hugs*

I wish things, just for once, would be nice and orderly and perfect.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-18 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampirespider.livejournal.com
No, we don't know about Gem yet. I'm kind of worrying; but we keep talking about it, so I feel like we should be able to work something out. There are just still so many variables, you know?

*hugs*

You and me both. Life should be...easier, sometimes. (On the other hand: cry more, priveliged kid)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-18 06:47 pm (UTC)
ext_12785: A woman in a white dress, facing the camera, while the sunlight reflects off of the lens (Default)
From: [identity profile] lattara.livejournal.com
Yes, I do. I do know. And I'm really sorry we don't live in the best of all possible worlds.

*hugs*

It's only a year. You can do it! ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-13 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrowwhiskers.livejournal.com
Uaa, I'm so glad you like the video too :D Cat Stevens makes such a lovely old man. <3

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-15 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampirespider.livejournal.com
His voice! His voice is amazing.

Profile

ink_splotch: (Default)
ink_splotch

April 2009

S M T W T F S
   1234
5678 91011
12131415161718
19 202122232425
2627 282930  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags